Ok, so it's been a little while since my weekend away and I'm still feeling calm inside. I really think it changed me for the long run, it was life altering. Today someone cut me off when she changed lanes, and I had no internal reaction or external reaction. It wasn't an awful cut off, but enough to make me slow down a bit. I just told myself that she must have not seen me or didn't realize how close I really was. It felt great...a huge breakthrough for me! I'm usually steaming inside and make some kind of rude remark (knowing the whole while she can't hear me and it doesn't affect her at all). My self talk is getting much better.
I've also started the "token system" than my friend Vanessa does with her kids. I've read about it before, having studied psychology, watched plenty of "Super Nanny", and read so many parenting books, but never been able to truly put it into practice. I've done it, I've implemented it and the boys love it...as long as they are earning points and not losing points. Some days are better than others...I've got to keep their interest and remind them a lot about earning a point or losing a point and what they can get for their points. I've got my posters up with what to do to get a point, or 2, and the rules and what happens when they break the rules, and how they can spend their points. I think I'll review it with them again today and remind them what it's all about and the fun things they can get for their points. I've noticed a change in myself in regards to warnings and reminders. I don't fly off the handle as easily (but there are good days and bad), and help them see how their attitude effects the points the get or lose. It's a great teaching tool. All I can say is, thank you,Vanessa, for helping me see that it really does make a difference.
The latest news in the family is that Will's mom is in the hospital. She went in for a scheduled surgery and things looked good at first...but then her kidney's shut down. That caused a lot of issues, very serious issues. Her bowels expanded like a balloon from all the excess fluid and ended up with pin hole leaks (not good at all). The doctors went in and fixed the hole they knew about, cut out some of the damaged muscles to get rid of the infection, left her open for the night and kept and eye on any more leaks. The next day they found two more leaks and took out the damaged part of her bowels (at least that's what I've gathered from it all). The doctors were surprised that she was able to make it through. The day we found out about the complications, Will got a ticket to fly out there...so he's there now (in Maryland) and says she's doing good. The whole family is there (except the boys and me). The last time that happened was before we were married and she had a stroke. Can I just tell you that I have the best Mother-in-law ever!!! She loves everyone she comes in contact with. You can't help but feel special around her. Her children are so devoted to her and love her so much they have a hard time being away from her for any amount of time. I count myself lucky to be a part of her life. I've felt loved and accepted by her from the very first day I met her (the day before our wedding). She is a very special woman and I'm glad to call her Mom!
I've also started the "token system" than my friend Vanessa does with her kids. I've read about it before, having studied psychology, watched plenty of "Super Nanny", and read so many parenting books, but never been able to truly put it into practice. I've done it, I've implemented it and the boys love it...as long as they are earning points and not losing points. Some days are better than others...I've got to keep their interest and remind them a lot about earning a point or losing a point and what they can get for their points. I've got my posters up with what to do to get a point, or 2, and the rules and what happens when they break the rules, and how they can spend their points. I think I'll review it with them again today and remind them what it's all about and the fun things they can get for their points. I've noticed a change in myself in regards to warnings and reminders. I don't fly off the handle as easily (but there are good days and bad), and help them see how their attitude effects the points the get or lose. It's a great teaching tool. All I can say is, thank you,Vanessa, for helping me see that it really does make a difference.
The latest news in the family is that Will's mom is in the hospital. She went in for a scheduled surgery and things looked good at first...but then her kidney's shut down. That caused a lot of issues, very serious issues. Her bowels expanded like a balloon from all the excess fluid and ended up with pin hole leaks (not good at all). The doctors went in and fixed the hole they knew about, cut out some of the damaged muscles to get rid of the infection, left her open for the night and kept and eye on any more leaks. The next day they found two more leaks and took out the damaged part of her bowels (at least that's what I've gathered from it all). The doctors were surprised that she was able to make it through. The day we found out about the complications, Will got a ticket to fly out there...so he's there now (in Maryland) and says she's doing good. The whole family is there (except the boys and me). The last time that happened was before we were married and she had a stroke. Can I just tell you that I have the best Mother-in-law ever!!! She loves everyone she comes in contact with. You can't help but feel special around her. Her children are so devoted to her and love her so much they have a hard time being away from her for any amount of time. I count myself lucky to be a part of her life. I've felt loved and accepted by her from the very first day I met her (the day before our wedding). She is a very special woman and I'm glad to call her Mom!
4 comments:
First of all...I hope everything goes well for your mother-in-law! Sounds like she's been through a lot.
Secondly -- tell me more about your token system! I'm getting ready to make a new job chart and would love more ideas to go with it:)
Wow...so sorry to hear Wil's family is going through this hard time. You know I have some unique insight to this type of trial from my mom's complications last summer. Not fun. Please know our prayers are with you all, and we hope for her speedy recovery. I'm glad Wil's family has rallied together; special times.
Bravo for your improvement in your self-talk! I've been teasing KC about his "driver conversations" as of late...we laugh alot at ourselves, but think we could do better by your example. Love you so much. Give hugs to all those amazing boys of yours.
~Sarah (and KC)
I am so sorry to hear about Will's mom. Our prayers are with your mother-in-law and your family.
I got the flyer in the mail for the Time Out for Women and I was seriously considering going, but then realized it was the same weekend we were leaving for Florida. I was bummed. I am glad you went and had a wonderful time! I would love to go the next time around!
i'm so sorry about will's mom i hope everything works out okay!
as for the token system keep it up it's done wonders for my kids, nate still pushes the limits but nothing really like before, he has to be reminded a lot more than the other two but there's at least motivation there you know? best of luck take each day at a time, one step at a time and so forth it's the only thing that keeps me going sometimes! the knowing that the future only comes one day at a time!
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